The questions that follow each section are questions to consider when you’re thinking about whether to continuing seeing him—especially if you have the intention of dating with the purpose of finding a life-partner.
Dear Renita, I met a man online who I think is truly remarkable.
His profile listed him as single, but when I met him I found out he was legally separated and living in his own apartment.
Also, it seems that about 40% of the men who state they are divorced are actually still going through the process. That stated, I have come up to some heavy objection from both family and friends – hence I’m here.
They have given many examples of relationships that began quickly after a separation/break-up, so I am beginning to wonder if I am selling myself short – being too rigid.
As a dating coach/expert, what do you think of the idea of dating someone who is still in the process of divorce?
Do you advise your clients to take the date or run as quick as possible?
Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!
Dear Sara, We all make judgments based on our own experience.
What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.
Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.
He thought that would be less painful for her if she made it.