Here's her ad: The full text reads: The dating world has changed a lot since I got divorced. I love stand-up comedy, film, TV, theater, music, cruises, coffee, museums. Please don't respond if you are alcoholic or smoke pot/use any drugs, or are married/involved with someone else, or are under 45. "It used to be a thing no one understood or wanted to talk about," she recalls.
Which meant I needed a date (or two, three, four, five) fast.And in order to not feel weird about suggeting a five minute to hour long date with someone, I needed men and/or women who were either going to be at the mouse-themed amusement park already, or who held season passes so it wasn’t an expenditure for them to go on a quick date.So why, Ellen, would you take your quest to the land of apartment scams and Ikea dressers?Surprisingly, she says, people are more honest there. Ellen has dabbled in online dating for almost two decades. And for a few years, I had profiles on Match and J-Date up at the same time.” Ellen's voice is warm and inviting. But as anyone who has spent more than five minutes in the dating scene knows, finding a true partner can be like searching for Waldo (as in “Where’s? And Waldo, Ellen says, was not on any of the dating sites she signed up for.And to the casual browser, they can be just a bit dull. Rubbish wok-cooked foods enthusiast and flammable materials-wearing loon (M) WLTM F to 45 with fire-blanket and no small amount of knowledge regarding the correct batter-frying procedures of tempura. What is more peculiar is that the ads sometimes work.
Readers of the London Review of Books (LRB) - the fortnightly British literary magazine - like to do such things differently. Admittedly they don't have a huge success rate (a handful of marriages, a couple of children, at least one divorce), but, if nothing else, they are original.
“I started online dating shortly after I got divorced in 1998,” Ellen, a psychiatrist, told me when I contacted her — through Craigslist, of course — to inquire about her ad. A stand-up comedian by night, she has a great sense of humor. “I learned to ask a lot of questions,” she told me when I asked what she had learned from her experiences.
“I tried it all — JDate, Match, e Harmony…” Her voice trails off, as if she’s thinking hard. And, like the rest of the millions of people registered on dating sites and apps across the internet, she finds dating exciting, if not simultaneously exhausting. “When I go on dates now I say, you know, ‘are you completely, verifiably divorced,’ you know, ‘are you completely single?
Liking Radiohead, Homeland, Pulp Fiction and The Great Gatsby are effective date words, and mentioning cats is fine, as long as you don't say "my cats".
Men who refer to women as "females" or "women" rather than "girls" are more likely to find a mate, as are men who use the word "whom" (31 per cent more online communication).
The first newspaper personal ads started appearing in the 19th Century and many magazines have had thriving columns for decades. Agencies that run small ads sections make fortunes by using premium rate phone lines and helping callers to formulate adverts.