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Here are the principles you need to create a system around to find lasting love.
What was playing out in real time seemed to flip conventional wisdom on its head.
I started to have a slew of revelations about these emerging, shifting dynamics between the sexes, leading to loads of dissatisfied singles -- revelations that inspired the book I am now working on, to be published in early 2018 by Grand Central Life & Style.
From the moment I began my career, I wanted to cover dating and relationships.
I grew up fascinated by the fairytale; so hard to obtain, yet some version of it seemed almost inevitable if you just did your own thing and waited for love to "find you." (When you least expect it...right? Gender roles changed within couples; breaking-up-and-making-up became the norm; apps hit the scene, causing perfectly reasonable men and women to throw out prospects early and often, never settling down... Most notably, some of the best catches out there -- amazing women with otherwise full, exciting lives --- were always single and frustrated.
As I got deep into this history, which I wasn’t initially planning to frame in a very personal way, I thought more and more about why this matters to me and all the ways that women are taught to be this way, and I think that there is a huge industry in teaching women [how to be desirable].
It’s the most profitable industry in the world, making women hate themselves, and then [making them] feel that they have to buy things or work a certain way to be lovable.The title of the book makes it clear that dating and love is work.But as you point out, it’s traditionally poised as work for women and recreation for men. I do believe that history and material conditions play a force.On a personal level, I've always been interested in love and how to find it -- but increasingly, I've been interested the pursuit of dreams.A woman's every dream and aspiration matters; one is no more important than another, because it came first, or it developed with time, or it conforms to some ideal.And regardless of how dated the movie might be at this point, now it's becoming a movie.