Based on my relationship history, or at least on my history of crushes on unattainable men, this fit the pattern.
My castle-in-the-sky construction of an unavailable man generally begins with a circumstantial meet (he was seated next to me in class or at the wedding of mutual friends, et cetera), not any actual planning.
From there, generally a single factor makes him unattainable: geography, lifestyle, or a significant other.
“How do they know how to get under my skin and push my buttons? “It’s not who pushes your buttons, it’s who programmed you.” A Light-Bulb-Moment-WHOA-“aha! Since it’s Father’s Day today, this whole week I’ve been thinking about my own daddy issues, how they’ve affected me, why they’ve haunted me for so long and really, why the hell I even had such deep daddy issues in the first place when I have a Dad that’s consistently been nothing short of amazing. This becomes an addictive pattern because it creates this feeling of comfort due to the familiarity but also creates a perpetual underlying feeling of dis-ease in your relationships.
You then become the girl that doesn’t feel like it’s the “right” relationship unless you’re feeling insecure and like you have something to “chase after” and “prove.” You gravitate toward relationsh*ts that “keep you on your toes,” instead of relationships that are mutual and genuinely connected.
If this describes you, you may be suffering with attachment issues, stemming from the relationship (or lack thereof) with your father.
This can cause co-dependent behavior and if not dealt with, may eventually suffocate your romantic relationships, leaving you a product of your own fears — abandonment! You need constant reassurance of love and affection.
Suddenly all the latent Harlequin romance of my heart lit up like a pinball machine. At the time, I was living in Los Angeles; he was living in Maine.
For our first date, he came to my mother's wedding in Colorado.Was your father abusive toward you (physically, emotionally or sexually)?If you said yes to any of the above, you're certainly not alone.While a woman may seem to have it all together at first glance, there are certain characteristics women with daddy issues display – and if you’re not sure, the following may be a few of the signs. Was he physically present but emotionally unavailable?There was one nice guy in the mix: Russell, whom I met on spring break my senior year.