There’s an old joke in recovery circles that goes: how do you know when a date between two sober alcoholics has gone well?
Punch line: They move in together before it's over.
And second, it’s much easier to date someone who speaks the same language.” Bryan thinks about it for a second before adding, “Some will say it’s two mentally ill people going out with each other, but I think many of us that are sober can work through our disease in order to have a healthy relationship.” According to Melody Anderson, a family and addiction expert in Los Angeles, if both parties are working a solid program of recovery, they can have even better chances than non-alcoholics of a successful partnership.
The first few months of recovery are often described as an emotional rollercoaster because there is so much going on.
The last thing that an individual will want to do will be to add the stress of a new relationship to the mix.
I Have been dating someone for a little over a month. He also feels that he went to AA for preventive measures..
He has told me a little bit of his past with drinking.
It is strongly advised that they remain focused on themselves until their sobriety is strong.
Once they are settled in their new life, they can then begin to consider sharing it with somebody else.
But not all sober relationships are of the shotgun nature; for many who find love on the AA campus, sober relationships can mirror the rest of world—meaning they’re hard, scary, and (usually) worth the effort.
Bryan is a recovered insurance agent from Houston who, at 42, is 10 years sober and recently married to a woman he met in AA.
For him, romance and recovery can be a highly successful combination—if done right.
“I think it’s much easier dating a fellow alcoholic,” he says. There is nothing worse than having to ask someone to brush their teeth before you kiss them because they’ve been drinking.
He said that he was in an unhappy relationship with someone for over three years and had been drinking, one night he hit rock bottom and slept with someone else.